untitled 11-17-10

trapped within the bones
of a too thin ribcage
it beats ba-dum ba-dum
until it bursts.

Bursts. bursts
from too much life
without enough love
Moloch! Moloch!
cries the Howl of the city street.
They, too, have been worked too hard.

We have been worked too hard.
Worked to the point of hiding.
Hiding ourselves with
masks and self discovery stories--
our self defining moments.

Moments of purest epiphany
that lead to this discovery:
know yourself and learn to love it.

let me tell you about courage

courage is sitting alone
in your room crying at the thought
of people finding out
who you are, but not giving up.

courage is writing down the words
that will change your life,
hoping it's for the better.

courage is taking the pills
that mess with your brain
because you would give
anything not to be crazy.

courage is leaving the room
and smiling, hoping
that today is better than the last.

No one home

I walk into my room.
The light's on.
Stop.

I stop.
I'm trying to slow my breathing
while at the same time prepare
myself for the fight or flight
response I'm not used to.

Did I leave the light on?

I take a step.
There's giggling.
I smile.
I recognize that voice.
She came to visit.

Things I learned last night.

vermilion truth
with cinnamon lies
brings sapphire seduction
and emerald envy.

clear cups of rose hope
don't mix with jade memories,
and Brian texting Steph
was more ugly than true.

My life needs more ginger,
and his needs some mocha.
So, why don't we settle
this honest onyx waste of time.

writer's block

the words are gone--
torn from me
like homes torn from the ground in a storm.
windows of poetry stained
with the blood of my heart
lost from the wells of its chest.

the tears come slowly,
like a funeral procession.

fingers shake as they
slide the pen across the page.
it's over.

it's done.
my madness has stolen my mind.
there is no hope for this hopeless boy.

I'm cold.

finding the words

is like pulling teeth 
when creativity is no longer in reach.
 It is like flying a plane 
 without any knowledge of the controls. 
 The only thing you know is that

you do not want to crash. 


 You want to soar. 
 You want to fly. 
 You want words to come to you 
 like wind comes to eagles wings. 
 Like church songs 
come to faithful prayers.


 Like you live in a freshmen dorm
and the constant door crashes 
and excited yells 
mean that you are alive. 
You want words to come like electricity-- 
in sparks and surges 
flowing through your body
with alacrity. 


You want finding the words to be easy, 
like it's easy to look at you. 
When you dance it is like

the world 
is conspiring to make beauty.

finding the words

is like pulling teeth
when creativity is no longer in reach.
It is like flying a plane
without any knowledge of the controls.
The only thing you know is that
you do not want to crash.
You want to fly.
You want words to come to you
like wind comes to eagles wings.
Like church songs come to faithful prayers.

Like you live in a freshmen dorm
and the constant door crashes and excited yells
mean that you are alive.
You want words to come like electricity--
in sparks and surges
flowing through your body
with alacrity.

You want finding the words to be easy,
like it's easy to look at you.
When you dance it is like
the world is conspiring to make beauty.