Thursday, June 10, 2010

The truth of feeling

Today was a good day,
and now I'm reduced to journaling
by lamplight in my room, while eating
peanut butter m&ms, of course.

The m&ms are a coping mechanism,
the journal a habit of thought.
You see, neither really do their job.
It'd be easier if I were not.

But the truth of the matter,
if the matter is what you want,
is that feelings are fleeting
and fleeting they're permanently not.

I once saw a raindrop, perfectly clear
drop like a gem from the sky.
It shone and twinkled like a wish toward my eye,
and I tell you wish I didn't, not in that moment.

In that moment there was only me
and the drop, twice refracted, once reflected.
All of everything in the sun on rain,
I was everything in the ebb and flow of a sun-shower rain.

Monday, June 7, 2010

In reply to He Puts Pen to Paper

But that never happened,
and it never will.
Because I don't love you,
I still refuse to.

Because for me to love you
I would need some things.

I would need to touch you,
I would need to touch your face.
I would need to kiss you,
I would need to know your taste.
I would need to know you,
both your mind and your physique.
I would need to need you,
and all I have is want.

I really want to need you,
but love you I cannot.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Pasamos Juntos

pasamos juntos.

We walk together.

Yesterday, I went to the beach,
and left footprints in the sand.
Then, I walked back,
being careful to step in each one perfectly,
and walked again with bare feet,
so that I could pretend you were walking beside me
holding your shoes in your hand
and wearing that pretty yellow dress.

We walk together.

When I go to the store I buy
a pint of cookie dough
and eat it with two spoons,
one for you.

We walk together.

I drink wine on the porch,
white, your favorite.
Two glasses awaiting the sunset.

pasamos juntos.
We walk together
Remember that when you feel alone.