untitled 1-5-11

I want so much to feel right-- to be in love and have a purpose.
I want so much to feel right.
I want it to the depth of my core.
I want it like brittle bones want milk, like writers want words, like lovers want each other.
I want it so much that I'm rocking back and forth in my chair.
back to the undefined emotions and destructive mood swings.
forth to hope filled days and emotionless nights.
back to drugless parties and sober minds.
forth to round white tablets and oblong green pills.
back and forth I teeter totter on the edge of meaning.
I'm so close to finding myself that it's like I've already lost just when I've begun to win.

Syllable Soliloquy

Lonely candle in the night
burning quickly burning bright.

Passion consumed passion pursued.
Passion for the words unused.

Hope for the better. Hope for the right.
Hope for lovers holding tight.

I'm trying to hold on
to keep searching -- to find my way.

You promised I would make it.
You promised the stars would shine.

You promised the clouds would clear.
You promised there would be light.

I promised to try to fight
but I'm burning quickly. I'm burning, right?

I'm fading quickly
I'm out of sight.

Believe Me

I stare her plainly in the eyes
honesty is the placement of the syllables shared.

She looks back on me hands
in her chin and eyes twinkling.

The night is early but feels so late.
The stars are hidden but burning within.

Burning as brightly as the hair she bobs,
the passion she fails to recognize she owns.

Tomorrow is for dancing.
Today was for talking.

Where from there? I'm unsure.

Surely everything has a place.

Believe me and we'll get there.