Things to Work on

audio

These eyes are dammed--
built up from the weeks of unfeeling
bullshit.

My eyes are brown.
They have been for years.
It's all the shit they hide.
You think that's a smile.
You think I want to laugh.

I WANT TO CRY

I want to cry for every person
who ever learned
words can always hurt me.

These sticks, these tones,
they scar and burn me.
These words cut me
like razors across the soft
skin of my wrists.

I want to cry.

I want to cry for mothers who will never see their sons,
and fathers their daughters.

I want to cry for custody battles.

I want to cry for the soldiers on the fields.

I want to cry for anyone suffering,
for mental disorders and psychopharmacology.

I want to cry for Zoloft and Paxil and Ambien and Prozac
Abilify and Lexapro and

not feeling a FUCKING THING.

I want to cry for you ripping and pulling and shredding my heart.

I want to cry for the God that disappeared on me.

I want to cry,
and this long sigh,
this is me knowing I can't.

I can't cry.
I cannot ever, ever let these tears fall,
because I have to be strong.
It's a promise I made.
A man says forever,
and I won't walk away.